The King is Dead —

— caught last Wednesday in the DOC approved rat trap.

Skip scrolling down if you’d rather not see slightly mangled rat. I’ll add some spacers to help out.

Do you want to look down there, or not?

Are you sure?

Really, really sure? It’s very close now.

Ok, but don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Here he is. The Deceased.

rat king

Don’t feel too sorry for him. Seems he’d been sending his children out most nights to bring home takeaways.

He was a big one, and possibly the daddy of the eleven smaller rats we and Ella have scuppered over the last couple of months. After baiting with egg, corn cob, beetroot and pumpkin seed this dude was caught with an apple core. I can almost see him peering into the trap saying ‘Hey look, apple! Wow, and so early in the season too!’. Mind you he’d run out of little rats to send down the chippy by then so he might have been getting hungry.

Two days before this kill there had been another large rat in the trap, which we think may have been mama rodent. Since Ella has all but abandoned the project it makes us think that we’ve possibly cleaned up the rat population — for now.

It’s the end of a dynasty. But you know what they say, ‘Le roi est mort, vive le roi!‘.



  1. Nice work team! His little feet do look quite precious, but I know he had to go. Sad for Ella though. I enjoyed watching her trotting off so purposefully to the chicken house. A dog alone. With a Mission.

    Still, I think it might be a little optimistic to assume the entire dynasty has been deposed and disposed. After all, there’s been plenty of time for the offspring to engage in a little inbreeding to secure the line. They’ll Be Back. [with deep, portentous voice]

    • Yes, a temporary respite for sure, but the chicken food isn’t disappearing overnight any more so we’re calling it a win for now.

  2. d’you think his last words were, “Oh for pete’s sake, do I have to do _everything_ around h—”?

    • Possibly. He had just finished re-plumbing the rat hole and was looking forward to a few beersies while watching re-runs of the fishing show.

  3. I think if you are putting photographs of Dead Rats on your blog your transformation to Country Girl is nearly complete 🙂 Back in the Big Smoke I have taken to wearing Tiara Headbands to work … I find they add to my Authority!

    • Well of course my dear, who could refuse the authority a tiara brings? I mean, look at Queenie in ‘Blackadder II’!

      • I knew you would understand Xx. I still don’t quite understand the Rat, but what are friends for if not to broaden the mind XOX

        • You are sweet. I promise I won’t have any rat corpses on display when you visit. xxx

          • no “rat corpses on display”? how else will you deter immigrants?

          • One assumes you mean rat immigrants, not peoples from afar looking to settle in the north.

  4. Great to catch up with the shocking and gruesome thriller stories that come out of the country! Cant wait for next episode in person?

    • True crime. ‘He was a doirdy rat [said in NY private detective accent]’.

      See you soon x

  5. Yeiks that’s a big one! Well done. Just found your blog! I hear you are down with J and E – we beat you by a day, what a shame, it would have been great to coincide. Hope you have a lovely relaxing time with NO rats! (but maybe a few wines…)

    • Having a lovely stay with AntiGene and UnklEd. Beach swimming and G&Ts, great combo. Sad to have missed you.

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